Saturday, April 28, 2007

Funny signs...

Signs (the road-signs kind, not the spooky Manoj-Night-Shyamalan kinds), slogans (like the ones on tshirts. There was a phase where I only bought tshirts with slogans printed on them) have long piqued my curiosity. And there is never a dearth of signs that are amusing - either due to spelling mistakes or the thoughts they express. So I try to capture the funny ones and have had a collection from quite some time. Here are a few that I really found funny.

This was on the road right next to the state secretariat. Talks true about much of the development happening here. Never "In Progress". Always "Under Progress". They might never reach par or over progress :)

At the Pune zoo. Molest? Tantalise animals? I can imagine Rakhi Sawant doing an item number in front of them to tantalise them! Or an eve teaser behind the female chimp! And what about the poor badger. Please don't badger the badger!

At a bird sancutary outside Pune. Complete family harmony at a jinks joint? And I didnt get the camel in the pic.

At a roadside intersection at Pune. Passed out? That must have been lot of casualties! Well, that shows the quality of teaching.

At Mahabalipuram. Teach "male-to-male and female-to-female"? I'm getting doubts about this. And 20-year experians. Are they different from Aquarians or Saggitarians?

At Mahabalipuram. B****, m****, Sutta na milaaa? No way! Check this out, dude.

At Pondicherry. I just loved this clay Maaama and Maami at a shop!

At Pondicherry. Never seen such a thing earlier. Would you be comfortable in it? What if it goes over a hump? Hmm...never mind! (But nonetheless, a great way to keep the city clean)

At Pondicherry again. Some menu, this. And Chutnet? Misspelling it once it fine, but twice over?

At Pondicherry. Nothing funny about this. Just was impressed by the idea of communal integration coming through simple calendar placements.

Back of a car somewhere in Bangalore. Literal translation from Kannada reads
"You only come.
Not you.
If anyone could decipher this code, leave it as a comment!

On the Bangalore-Mysore highway. Big Banian tree! What about Big Underwear tree? :)) (Brought to you by Rupa Underwear and Banian! Thanks Rupa)

At Nandi Hills. It's a warning, Amrutha and Sarovara. Both of you don't get into them. But into what?

At Nandi Hills again. This sign is at the edge of the cliff. Getitng there needs Hanuman-ish caliber. Looks like the painter didn't heed to his own sign!

This was at Hampi from a moving auto. The line in red at the bottom read 'South Africa'. Was the sign really exported from SA? Or maybe a promotion of free parking in SA? Can't park in India? Please visit SA and park your vehicles for free there!

In a bus in Goa. Sealing? Maybe 29 can be cramped and sealed into one!

At a tourist spot outside Bangalore. Do they mean the art gallery is inside the...?

Wednesday, April 25, 2007

Night Rider...

An attempt at being funny, that I had tried a long time ago...found it in my archives. Thought will put it up here. WTH, anything in the name of creativity. That's what blogs are there for, right :-D

The stars were shining, the moon was bright
And I didn't sleep a wink last night

Neither she slept, neither let me sleep
Slowly and softly, up on me she would creep

Hiding in the shadows, she harassed me
How she was, I could not see

After a long time, I caught her sight
And finally clasped her tight

I can never forget the time we had
Thinking of it makes me go mad

Who it was, I am sure you would want to know
What can I say? She was a female Anopheles mosquito!

Wednesday, April 18, 2007

In top Gere

Well, Shilpa Shetty is in the news again. And the title matches perfectly for her. She has made it a habit now to be in the news. Quite a newsmaker now - step aside, Amar Singh, who must be busy making arrangements for the other Mangalore gal. Abhi toh woh Aish kar rahi hai, Rai-ght?
Coming back to Shilpa, this seems such a no-brainer. From what I have heard and pics I have seen, it seemed a harmless kiss on the cheek. Much less controversial than the stuff she or any of the other actresses do on-screen, from time immemorial. Remember the Aamir-Karisma canoodle in Raja Hindustani. Or Madhuri-Vinod Khanna in Dayavan. Or more recently, one which I was wide-eyed, Madhavan and Vidya Balan in Guru (I gave all the info for any of my voyueristic readers who will go rushing back to youtube or the friendly neighborhood CD guy. But come to think of it, I doubt if I have any readers, let alone voyueristic ones ;-D)
Now there are people demanding apologies from both the parties. Maybe Richard can apologize by saying - hum to appke apne hain, koi Gere nahin! Maine koi Gere-oni harkat nahi kiya...
And hope he doesn't get arrested for Gere-kanooni acts of pecking our actresses who epitomise the sabhya nari image. Well, that is the bastion of the one-and-only Emraan Hashmi. And Mika :))

What did Mika sing after kissing Rakhi?
Sawan-t mein lag gayi aag, dil meraa.......
(Surprising I never heard or came up with this earlier!!)

As I read someplace else, most of the protest must be by people who are just envious that they couldn't get the chance which Gere did with so much ease. He showed us hum kiss-ise kam nahi.

Sidetracking, the cricket World Cup seems to have lost its charm. The Ozzies look like the only true team and we do not have the two short-fused teams - India and Pak - to provide the uncertainites and twists. So long to that.

The Formula One season also seems to be pretty interesting this year. What with Kimi in a Ferrari. At last, he gets a stable set of wheels under him. Until now, he must have been the unluckiest guy around.
But somehow, the Ferrari colors don't suit him. He looked the Iceman part in the silver flannels of McLaren. The red just doesn't jell with his outlook. Red is more flashy and suited Schumi best. More for the jumpy-jumpy types. Not the brooding, Kimi types!

Thursday, April 12, 2007

Want to be a millionaire?

How many of you have received email notifications informing you that you have won obscene amounts of money through some online lottery business promotion?
Or that there is a vast sum lying in an unattended account in some remote unknown city in Africa -ever heard of Ougandongou something?- where the account owner was killed in a plane crash or a dictator who fled during some coup. I have got mails from people ranging from Nigeria to SAfrica to Congo.
Other common ones are UK National lottery and Microsoft lottery. The funniest thing is is the Microsoft winning notification is always sent to my GMail account. Could it BE anymore
If I claimed all the amount that was promised in each mail I have received till now, by now I would have had more money than the GDP of any G-8 nation. Heh heh.
Coming back to the topic, the accounts which receive these sort of the mails are the ones that are exposed on the Internet. And its almost a daily phenomenon.
Wonder how many people really fall for these scams. I should sometime reply to one of them and see where it goes. Maybe one of them is really true!

Went to a basketball game at the FedEx Forum couple of weeks back. It was an awesome experience. It was a match between the home team, the Memphis Grizzlies and the Chicago Bulls. The Grizzlies won by a solitary point in the last 4 seconds, so that was really a great match to watch. And we had court side seats where we got a good view of the proceedings. The mid-game entertainment events were fun as well - the cheerleaders, the band and the very flexible acrobats. It was St Patrick's Day as well. And I got a first hand experience of the celebrations at the Irish pub in downtown Memphis. IT is basically an Irish festival where people wear green and drink their hearts out - in true Irish tradition. Saw it all - beer guzzling, boisterous, crowd with a fair mix of the fairer sex :) It was originally a religious festival which has become a community celebration over time and American influence. I went with my colleagues - one of them an American of German-British descent who gave me quite an insight about the festival. You can find the photos on my Webshots page.

Lucifer finally convinced me to overcome my procrastination and set up my Flickr account for putting up snaps online. Thank you! It is a very interesting thing. Improves perspective, for me. Check it out from the link in the sidebar.

Monday, April 02, 2007

Onsite diary..initial days!

After the welcome surprise of the first class seat in BA, I finally landed in Memphis on 19th Feb.
I did not have any trace of jet lag though (I know all you jealous buggers would say it was due to the first class seat. But then, I pride myself in my body adjusting to different clocks easily)
Right now am nicely settled out here. The company had a brand new apartment ready for occupation. And completely furnished to go with it. With cable and DVD as well.
First thing in the US, get a car. At least in Memphis. Public transport is as common as an empty road at 9 AM in Bengaluru. That should give you an idea. Cabs have to be always dialed for and buses are like 2 in a day. The roads are practically deserted during non-peak hours. Though, a reason for this might be the distance from Memphis downtown. But I like the area. Quaint houses giving an impression of a old-time township. My apartment has a gym, tennis court and swimming pool as well, to boot. Planning on being regular to at least 2 of the 3 of them. The cold weather's not been to kind to make any plans until now. It also has a nice lake for a leisurely walk with your wife or girlfriend around. But then, I have to make to with walking hand in hand with my camera.

The variety in food is also amazing. I've tried almost every kind of cuisine - American (obviously, duh!), Japanese, Chinese, Italian, Mexican, Thai, Vietnamese, lots of Indian too. Of them, found Vietnamese pretty close to Indian food, at least in spiciness. But I liked Japanese among all, their sushi was really nice. And at another place, they cook the whole meal right in front of you at your table. The cook was a juggler with all is cutlery as well. Was entertaining to watch him cook. But once in a while wondered what if the butcher's knife he was juggling around just missed the mark and flew towards one of the patrons happily dining (that's so much Calvin-like thinking).
Heh heh. Would make a good headline in the papers the next day -


Hahahaha. I found that pun damn funny.

Rented my first car as well. Since I am alone, didn't feel the need for a big car anyways. So went for a compact for now. It a cute little Chrysler PT Cruiser. I am sure some of you will hate the look and some will like it. At the beginning, I hated the look. Looks like a lovechild of the Ambassador and the Swift. But it kind of grows on you gradually. The interiors are really spacious with some really cool designs. Its inspired by the retro cars of the 60s or 70s. The door handles are the button press and pull type - you might remember them from the good ol' sturdy Ambassador cars back home. anyways, enjoying driving around here. didn't take too long to adjust to the left-hand driving out here. I guess, this is better for a left hander, somehow. Just perception, I guess.

Been watching a lot of movies as well. Watched 300 at a theater recently. Pretty nice - the comic book style of picturisation. But I felt there was too much blood and gore all around. And man, did Xerxes really look like that man-giant, bathed in gold ornaments?
Also watched Babel today. Brad Pitt if just amazing in this movie. A thoroughly restrained performance. Had just watched Fight Club a few days back. 2 entirely different characters. And he did justice to both.
Seems like too many movie reviews, heh heh. That's because of the sheer number of movies that I have watched in the last 3 weeks. Easily 2 movies a day on average.
More for another day.

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