IPHell

The IPL has redefined cricket. And anything cricket related.
Isme ab cricket hai, Bollywood hai, politics hai aur underworld bhi. We just wait for some religious type to be a part team owner and then we would have all required elements that the public savors.

Finally, the commentary team comes into its own during this IPL.
Until now, commentary was always an invisible parameter during a match. Kind of like a background score in a movie. You would not notice it unless it was really awesome or really banal.
The rest were all in between who managed rare insights (by rare I mean once in a while :)) to the game.
And then IPL came along. Along came its DLF maximums, and Citi moments of successes and Karbonn kamaal catches. Commentators must have their commissions linked to how much they use the brand names, the way they have been doing it all this while now. And each of them is unique in their style.
Let's start with Mpulelo Mbangwa (imagine if the other commentators had to introduce him with his actual name. No wonder he turned into the more easier Pommie Mbangwa). He actually speaks well, has good insights. But it all goes for a toss (literally!) when a player hits a six. It seems the ball actually travelled all the way to the commentary box, irrespective of the direction it was hit, and thudded into Pommie's umm...errr...box. He lets out a "Aaaaaaarrrrrgggggghhhhhhh.....", which sounds eerily similar to the Hindi rapist villain's exclamations when the heroine knees him one in the box. Just listen for it next time around.

Then there is L Sivaramakrishnan. His commentary is as sing-song as the effort required to say his name. Complete with the thaala and the introductory pallavi. "¶¶It's got the elevation¶¶... ¶¶and gone the distance¶¶¶". And some of the words he uses "Whatacatch. He's got lovely hands".
And Ravi Shastri with his tracer bullets. "Once he hits them, they stay hit". What about the rest? Once they hit them, it turns into water and flows away? Or dissolves into the atmosphere?

His commentary is usually made of screaming the player's name or the expression, like the Bollywood heroes do when searching for the villain in their lair. Just compare "YUVRAJ!! SIX!!" to "BALWANT RAI!!!BAAHAR NIKAL!"

Now coming to the other IPL highlights. I was wondering why there was no MRF blimps during the Kings XI matches. Then I realised MRF had stuck their logos on Ramesh Powar and Yuvraj Singh!
Talking of Yuvraj, he's really put on so much weight that the IPL committee is planning to make a rule that umpires point to Yuvraj when signalling a wide. And he could sponsor the wide. So next we can hear the commentators admonishing a Yuvraj Singh wide bowled by bowlers.
On the same lines, Lalit Modi is coming up with a new idea to make even more money by planning to approach the cricketers themselves to sponsor some of the happenings. After the Yuvraj Singh wide,
John Buchanan wide - Wide which goes high over the batsman's head, much like Buchanan's theories,
Kumar Sangakkara appeal - Appeal by the bowler/keeper when the batsman is no where out,
Kevin Pietersen tantrum - Glares/shouts by the batsman at his mate who's just got him run out,
Inzamam ul Haq runout - Batsman setting of for a easy single and somehow running himself out,
Badrinath shower - A heavy downpour disrupting the game, much like Badri's sweating,
Venkatesh Prasad slower ball - Bowler delivers a slower ball slower than his actual run up,
Glenn McGrath corridor ball - One in the corridor of uncertainty,
Robin Uthappa Six - Six that should actually be a 12 because of the distance it traverses,
Kamran Akmal drop - Simple catch (a.k.a dolly) fluffed by the keeper/fielder.
Shoaib Malik catch - To complement the Karbonn kamaal catch where one fielder drops the catch but another fielder manages to hold on to the rebound.
Harbhajan Singh celebration - Wicket taking bowler shouting like Tarzan and running all round the ground like a headless chicken.
Andrew Symonds no ball - Well, because he has no baal (as in hair)...hehehehe.

Speaking of bald players, insiders tell me that Modi has already plans to tattoo up some more logos on the bald pates of Symonds, Sehwag, etc. There could even be a new rule in place by IPL4 for all players to turn up with shaven heads so that sponsor logos can be displayed on the heads.
Next is what? Imagine :)

Negotiations are on with the players to check how much money are they willing to pay to have their names chanted by commentators whenever these events happen.

Also, Rupa Vests and Briefs has tied up with IPL to sponsor the toilet break for the players. So now, whenever a fielder or bowler or even the umpire goes to take a leak, they would be going for the Rupa Vest and Briefs Toilet Break - Yeh Andar ki baat hai!

Funny joke

Not my own, but this joke cracked me up :-D

PATIENT: "Doctor, I've got a strawberry stuck up my bum."
DOCTOR: "I've got some cream for that."


Hehehehehe

Mobiking to Mysore and around

Long pending blog to be published. Procrastination rules! :(
The last weekend of November was good with a long pending bike trip done. A total of 550km in 2 days was great fun. My stressed back wouldn't share the same opinion, I guess :)

So late Friday night we decided to go to Mysore. We set out pretty early on the Saturday morning. There were three bikes - my brother on an Enticer, my cousin on a Unicorn and myself on a Pulsar. The other 2 were already long trip experts after doing a Bangalore-Mangalore trip few months back.



After topping the tank, we quickly reached Mysore Road and started roaring on the highway. The road were unusually empty, for it being a weekend, there are usually lots of holiday travelers going to all the scenic places between Bangalore and Mysore. We kept up speeds up to 90kmph easily on all the 3 bikes. Soon reached Ramnagaram and decided to check out the hillock and temple nearby. This was the location where the movie Sholay, arguably the best Indian movie, was shot. Climbing the stone steps up to the temple literally took my breath away. Been sometime since I did any sort of strenuous work, and this wasn't even that difficult. But the sedentary lifestyle does take its toll during such times. We went past the temple and there was an elevated place that gave a good panoramic view of the surroundings. The wind was pretty strong up there. A specialty of this hill is that there are no crows around! Think about that. Do crows have vertigo?




After resting there for sometime, we headed out and stopped at Mandya for lunch. After a pretty ordinary lunch, we were on our way again. The stretch between Mandya and Mysore is really good with long straight roads with good visibility and all of us did 100+ with ease, though the engine started to purr in a complaining tone.
We deviated into the historical Srirangapatna that was once the capital of Tipu Sultan. We checked out the different monuments like the temple, obelisk, jail and the not-anymore palace.
From there, we decided to go to Ranganthittu to pass time before going to KRS/Brindavan Gardens for the evening musical fountain show.
Ranganthittu was a disappointment as we did not get to see any variety in birds. The only thing interesting were the crocodiles lolling around after having their rich feast of different fishes of the Cauvery river. They are so full of fish food that they find it difficult to even move around. One of them gave us a good pose with its mouth wide open baring it's razor sharp dental set.
We had some refreshments nearby and then headed off to KRS. The Brindavan Gardens built next to the KRS dam is a pretty amazing place with different kinds of fountains competing for eye space from the viewers.




The musical fountain show attracts hordes of people and the place resembles any rush day at Tirupati. Huge crowds throng to view the albeit short 15minute spectacle of the fountain dancing to nationalistic and regional songs. The different colors the fountain takes on is a treat to watch though.




Then we headed to Mysore, visited one of the pubs in town, Opium, which had pretty good popular rock numbers playing.
We hit the sack in a cousin's place and prepared to the next day's journey to Himvad Gopalaswamy Betta (Hills). We started off at 9AM. The road between Mysore and Nanjangud was pretty treacherous with potholes and private buses competing with each other to be first. Though, all of us safely negotiated the mad traffic. Once past Nanjangud, the roads became better and emptier and we were again free to talk to the wind at 90-100kmph.
Finally reached the hilltop at 1130AM which was a wrong time as the usually enchanting mist (hence the name Himvad) had lifted off and the top was bare in the afternoon sun. But still, there was a chill there and you can actually touch the mist inside the sanctum sanctorum of the Gopalaswamy temple. The priest actually wipes off the mist off the ceiling and sprinkles over you.
We then took a short hike onto one the hills nearby and just lazed there till we were bored and hungry. Finally, around 2, we were back on our way to Mysore.




Rested a lot more at my cousin's place and then finally were on our way back to Bangalore by 830pm. The weather was pretty chill and 2 shirts and a jacket with a cap along with a helmet couldn't stop me from shivering in the chilling winds. My attire could have given a complex to an Eskimo.
After some snacks at Maddur, somehow me and the other 2 bikes got separated and I was left to myself (and couldn't reach my bro on the phone as well). So I just took off and rode at 100+ speeds. A bit dangerous, people might say, but it wasn't really that bad. Except for the oddball driver who would drive crazily, most of the other drivers on the road were pretty cool and could be trusted not to make any surprise moves with their vehicles.
I was in Kengeri by 11 which was pretty good time, 2hours of riding between Mysore and Kengeri. Reached home and just crashed on my bed in the warm comforts of my thick blanket.


Here is a summary for any of you interested in planning any trip to Mysore for 2 days.
Saturday: Bangalore - Ramnagara Sholay hills (if interested) - breakfast at Kamat Lokaruchi - Visit Janapada Loka - Stop at Maddur Coffee Day (just for the experience) - Lunch at any place between Maddur and Srirangapatna - Visit Sriragapatna - Visit Ranganthittu - Musical fountain show at KRS Bridavan gardens at 630pm - Overnight stop at Mysore - Hit the hangouts in Mysore
Sunday: Off to Gopalaswamy Betta (better leave by 6 to reach there by 9 to see the early morning splendor) - Back to Mysore - Chill out - Visit the Mysore palace - Stay for palace lighting between 7-8pm on Sunday - Back to Bangalore - Pit stop at Maddur Coffee Day again!

PJ time...?

When was the last time I posted a PJ. I myself don't remember :)

Tom and Jim were good friends. One day, while Tom was visiting Jim's house, they decide to cut vegetables for lunch. While doing so, Tom cuts his finger and blood starts falling on the new rug Jim had put in his living room.

As soon as this happened, Tom and Jim looked at each other and realized they were long lost brothers and hug each other in happiness.

How did they figure out they are brothers?



Kyunki Jim ge RUG mein Tom ka khoon bah raha hai!

Ironic...

Was an ironical incident last weekend.
I was on my way to participate in a Walk for the Disabled at the Kanteerava stadium and ended up being temporarily disabled after meeting with a minor accident.
A few kms down and suddenly found myself flat on the road after being thrown off from the bike. There was some mud and stones collected in a pit-like thing on the road, and the tyres just skidded off.
Got some injuries on my knee, wrist, chest and cheek. But for the helmet, my face would have been smashed as my head had a pretty hard impact onto the ground, which left me momentarily stunned. No broken bones or ribs, luckily.
So, here's hoping to get to full fitness soon and start jumping around again!